Would you want to know...

We have this little elderly lady that comes into the church office QUITE A BIT. She LOVES TO TALK quite a bit as well. So, usually when we see her coming - everyone makes a mad dash for the other room.

Now, I know what you're thinking...not very Christ-like...or loving. But, I really feel like Jesus would do the same thing if He were walking the earth. I can just see Him saying "Oh, look...this guy needs to be healed. Now, you just remember where you left off - telling me about your bowel movement - and we can finish this conversation later. Or, better yet, could you just tell God this..just pray to Him...then we don't have to worry about this conversation on bowel movements."

I digress.

So, here is the thing about this lady...other than the incessant talking. I guess that several years ago she had a mastectomy [now, I don't think this is funny - really...I am not heartless after all]. But it seems that a prosthetic booby was not so important to her in her advanced age. So I don't know what she uses - but it is not as...hmmm... heavy...as the real thing.

So, I noticed one day that she was WAY off balance in the booby department. I mean we are talking a good SIX inches difference here...in length! And I thought, oh no, one has gotten away from her and she doesn't even know it. Should I say something about the blatant un-evenness? This has to be embarrassing!

But I thought about it and I decided I didn't want to embarrass her or, heaven forbid, start an un-wanted conversation about elderly boobies - so I left it alone. But now, I have noticed that it is a permanent fixture. They are ALWAYS un-even...really, REALLY un-even.

To use my husband's phrase... it's like a train wreck...I just can't look away...I can't help but notice it. And it just looks so terrible. I mean, the vast expanse of the length of the real one - compared to the fakie - is really shocking.

So, now I just think - surely she knows that they don't match. I mean, you know, one is like Barbie Booby and the other looks...well...like a Maxine booby. So, I have come to the conclusion that she just must not care one bit about the matching booby pair. I guess getting old has its perks...I mean...if you are comfortable enough to walk down the street with one booby standing at attention and the other one taking a nap on your belt...then more power to you!

Paaartaaay!

Well, it's my birthday today! It is funny how they don't seem to be such a big deal as an adult...well, until you hit the BIG ones...30...40...50. I am happy to say that I haven't reached any major milestone birthdays...yet. But I am getting very, VERY close!

My sister wrote an incredibly sweet post today...just for little ol' me! She was nice enough to include a good picture of me and not one of those horrible awkward pictures from Junior High!

So far- for my birthday I have been out to eat three times with 3 different sets of people. Maybe what I really need is a membership to the gym - instead of all these dinners! So, "THANK YOU!" to everyone who called, sent cards, or took me to dinner! I have the bestest friends and family in the world!!!

The Bedroom Redo

I am actually ready to show some weekend project/ redo pictures. My parents came a couple of weeks ago to help me out with some projects - since we have so many - and we are incredibly grateful for the help! So one big project was the master bedroom. I have hesitated to show any pics because I am not completely finished...and I wanted it to look perfect...but oh well! Here it is anyway!

I have no before pics - but the walls were white with a few pieces of mis-matched furniture. So now the walls are blue and the furniture matches...well, at least the furniture that is staying. Notice that the night stands don't match. I am still searching for the right ones.

The headboard is a blue/gray suede...with brown and blue accents. My mom made all of the throw pillows AND upholstered the headboard. Dad painted the room (as well as finishing several other projects)!

This is my favorite piece...it was a horrid looking garage sale find that I painted brown and added new legs to. I love it! This picture doesn't really do it justice - it looks much better in real life! Also, there are doors for the shelf end - I just haven't gotten the hardware to add them yet.

This is the awkward little nook that is a work in progress. It hides the doors to the closet and bathroom.

So, there you go! I will - hopefully - get some stuff on the walls soon. The hubs informed me today he might want to re-arrange! So I will have to wait and see where we put things before I can commit anything to the walls!

A Tribute to the End of Summer...Part 1

Not that it won't be hot for another 4 months, but, ya know...technically it is becoming fall.

Part 1 - THE GUESTS

For the past few years we have had a somewhat-annual-get-together of the siblings and cousins for the 4th of July. The weekend is full of swimming...cookouts...cookies...and a great deal of fun!

Best pic of the whole summer:














If we could understand him, I think he would be saying one of the following...
a) "Come here often?"
b) "Hey baby!"
c) "My water wings aren't really inflated...those are my actual muscles!"
d) "If you like my Big Bird water wings...you should see my Elmo beach ball!"



















Daniel is mastering the art of sliding without holding on to the sides...all the way down...with his hands and feet...which...when sliding in this manner...makes the most horrible screeching noise (you know, due to all the friction and stuff)...and it, in fact, makes the trip to the water REALLY slow!




If I can recall correctly I believe what Jack is saying here is "NO, I did not eat your cookie...and I really resent the accusation!"

I think that is what he said.







And here we just have Vivi...your basic miniature DIVA...complete with stylish swimsuit cover-up and shades to match.

I am not sure what to say about the cheesy grin...but I am sure she will LOVE this picture in about 12 years.

My brother's family couldn't make it to the 4th O' July bash. But they did get to come see the new house and stay for a visit over Labor Day. Since we are now (happily) without the pool...we played a little Shuffleboard...the sport of cruise-ship-dwelling-seniors everywhere!


Here we have the...ahem..."Leader" showing us how the game is played. The best thing about playing with Levi is that he does this little hop-step before sliding the disk. That in itself was hours of entertainment for me!!


Now this boy has some shuffleboard skills!
I mean...everyone was good...but Luke had the skills while the rest of us (except the husband) just had dumb luck.


Now, I think the Hope-sters goal was more along the lines of how she looked playing the game...not so much how well she played! But then again...she does have a bit of an aggressive side...as demonstrated by the look on her face.


So that wraps up Part 1 of the End O' Summer series. Next up is What I Did On My Summer Vacation.

I Will Never Forget

I wasn't going to write a "tribute" to the 9/11 tragedy - not because I don't care, but because I find it all so draining. Draining because of the constant coverage...the videos of that second plane crashing through the tower...the videos of the enormous buildings tumbling to the ground...the mourners...the firemen...the rubble.

I won't ever forget the day it happened. I don't really think any American will. But I was thinking today, after reading blog after blog paying tribute to the victims, of the morning it happened. I saw the plane hit the second tower. I saw the horror on the faces of the GMA anchors. I couldn't believe it. But it didn't really sink in.

Then I went to work. I was so busy - rushing around from room to room, organizing workers and children. Then I heard one of the ladies say that the first tower had fallen. I said "Oh my gosh" with this look of fake sadness. It still didn't sink in...then I went on with what I was doing.

Then it hit me.

It fell.

Those people didn't have time to get out.

They are dead.

Thousands of people just died.

This doesn't happen to us in America.

Now don't get me wrong here - I have GREAT respect for the men and women that gave their lives on September 11, 2001 - but, here is what I get out of 9/11. I don't want to dwell only on the 2,973 people who died in those towers and the others "still missing".

I also want to remember the thousands of people around the world that lose their lives every.single.day. to some terrorist act.

I want to remember the 365 children at the school in Belsan Russia,
the 52 victims of the London bombings,
the 191 victims of the Madrid train bombings,
the thousands of victims of suicide bombers in Iraq & Afghanistan,
the civilian casualties of the violence in Iran,
the thousands of victims of genocide in Darfur.

I want to remember their families, their children, their spouses.

I hope that I always remember that I live in a free country. A country with more liberties than the majority of the rest of the world.

We are lucky. We have rights. We have democracy. And our military fights for that freedom every. day.

And while 9/11 was certainly a tragedy...while it is heart-wrenching...while it is frightening...it was one day. One day in an otherwise protected existence. One day of terror in America - when everyday is full of terror in so many other places.

This may not always be the case in my country...I may not always be relatively safe...I may not always have freedom...but I do now. And that...I will never forget.

OKAY....

The husband is gone on a trip with his brother.

The parents are here.

Mom has her sewing machine.

Dad has his paint brushes, saws and numerous other tools.

SO, let the decorating BEGIN!!!

(Stay tuned for some before and after shots!)

Place your bets...

I have mentioned before that I work at a church...and that sometimes some really funny things happen...well, at least I think they are funny...it may be the fact that it is a Friday afternoon, before a LONG weekend...and I really NEED the weekend...and I am looking for any excuse to laugh...

Sorry...back to the story...

I was going through the mail today when I found this...







































Do you know what it is? It's a book (playbook) on what games to bet on for NFL and College football. Well, this in itself is pretty funny...being sent to a church and all.

I kept looking at it wondering if it was some really clever marketing ploy - and was, in fact, for a conference or a new Bible study or something.

Nope, it's the real deal!

No kidding.

BUT, here is the really funny part. Would you like to know who they sent it to...this book on how to place your bets on games...

















Can you read that?

Yes, it says PRAYER WARRIOR!

So, for all you prayer warriors out there...do I have the book for you!

Sinners!!!

Undignified

Thanks Matt -for the video! Two of my favorite things...David Crowder and Napoleon Dynamite!!

Jack and Vivi

So last night the husband and I played host to some teeny guests (Jack & Vivi). It was an exciting (and tiring night) of Mac 'n Cheese, chase Uncle Randy and Dr. Seuss books. Oh the joys of kids! I do have to say that there is nothing like the laughter of a 4 yr old being thrown into the air by her uncle!















Or of a 1 yr old laughing at his sister (who was laughing at her uncle).













And there is nothing like making a "happy plate" with your Mac 'N Cheese!












And nothing like a baby face covered in black beans!












And then...at the end of the day...when all is quiet...and the little angels are snug in their beds...there is nothing like standing in your living room and wondering what the HECK happened to your furniture!

Pics of the house...as promised!

Please don't judge the sparse decor! I am working on it - but I haven't been able to hang anything yet.

1) Breakfast Room - The chairs were purchased in a garage sale by my mom and dad - they will be painted black.

2) Dining Room - not much to say about this room. It is on the list to be painted.

3) Living Room - In front of the fire place you will notice a portable a/c. This is how we survived 3 weeks without air conditioning.

4) The Kitchen - The view from the living. It seemed so much cleaner before I took the pictures!

That is all that I have "put together" so far! The gameroom is a major work in progress - we have no idea what we will do in there. And the bedrooms are the current project. I'll post more pics as I progress!

An Ode to my Nephew

For My Nephew on His 7th Birthday!
Happy Birthday to you...
Happy Birthday to you...
You act like a MONKEY...
And you smell like one too!!

Happy Brithday!!!!

The Frisky Frog Story

So in the last post I mentioned that we had a frisky little frog chase us...well here is the story!

So, the pool had been closed for the winter (covered with no circulation) and we were trying to get it open for the spring and to sell the house. Well, if you have ever owned a pool, you know that it gets a little green and "soupy" over the winter. And you will also know that it is a real pain to cover and uncover the stinkin' thing. So we had gone to all the trouble of uncovering it and we discovered the pump wouldn't come on. While waiting for the pool people to come fix it, the pool just sat there exposed and gross. My husband pondered whether or not he could reenact Jesus walking on the water - that's how thick it was!!

So the frogs moved in after a rainstorm one night...and didn't leave. I tried to rescue them a few times, thinking they were stuck (and not wanting to have to pull their bloated corpses out later) but they just got right back in! And every night they croaked their little hearts out.

Well, one night we just couldn't take the noise anymore. So, armed with a flashlight for each of us, my husband and I shut the dog in the house (which she did NOT like) and set out in search of the noisy things. We found one on each end of the pool (the girl they were serenading was in the pool) and we proceeded to tell them to SHUT-UP (like they were going to listen to us)! After we felt like they had gotten the point we headed back to the house. In the meantime the frogs got brave and started croaking and moving around. When we got inside I said "If they followed us back to the house I am going to freak out!" So my husband turned on the back porch light and sure enough there they were (one right by the door, the other one not far behind)!!!! It was like some science fiction movie!!! Attack of the Killer Frogs! We aren't afraid of frogs in general (I quite like amphibians myself) but these guys were slightly demented. So we turned off the light and shut the blinds and let them do their thing outside that night.

If you put a pillow over your head the noise isn't that bad!

Adventures in Owning a Home

My husband and I just bought a new home. We were starting to out-grow the "starter home" (not because of kids, just because of my obsession with furniture)...and we wanted the space to start a family...and the old house had a pool that we used about 6 times a year but cost us a small fortune...so we upgraded. It is a fantastic house, well...except for the air conditioner that has gone out 3 times in 4 weeks (in Texas where it is currently averaging 101 degrees...at midnight). Why is it that when something goes wrong 1) it happens over the weekend when it would cost almost as much as the new house to get a repairman out there - or you have to suffer through until Monday...at which time you have to wait 3 days until they have an opening 2) it always "works just fine" when the over-priced repairman shows up?? Mr. Repairman better watch out...I am about ready to kick him in the teeth.

Here are the Top Ten Worst House Repair Experiences my husband and I have had in our 5 years of marriage:

1) Having the laterals and sand changed out of our sand filter on our pool. The kicker was that Frick and Frack that did the work dumped the old sand on my flower bed and killed all my flowers.

2) Having the tube to the Polaris (pool vac) repaired after aforementioned Frick and Frack punctured it while fixing the sand filter. Guess what they used to fix it! DUCK TAPE!! Yeah, we pitched quite a fit over that and never used the company again.

3) Having the sewer system back up and break the cleanout cap off of the outlet in the front yard. The neighbors came to tell us that we had pooh in the front yard. Nice.

4) The fridge went out and we had to wait 4 days for the warranty company to come fix it (and of course I had JUST bought groceries the day before). When they finally did come out, the guy burned holes in my kitchen floor with the solder. Nope, he didn't use a drop cloth.

5) The main water pipe in our front yard burst - quickly filling the yard and street (and of course it was a Sunday). We had to call the emergency line to the plumber and they sent out a man with one arm that wasn't able to do the job, plus he wanted to go to his son's going away party and only had about 20 minutes to help us. HELLO!!! We had to fix it ourselves. By the way, I have nothing against one-armed plumbers.

6) We had a leaky shower...the plumber came out 5 times...yes, 5...before he finally fixed it. Here is how it went:
-visit 1: thought it was fixed
-visit 2: a week later, after finding mildew growing on the floor under the cabinets (while the cabinets themselves were dry), we realized there was a leak in the wall
-visit 3: bathroom flooded after one shower, obviously not fixed yet
-visit 4: now the cold water handle is on backwards and, you guessed it, shower is STILL LEAKING!
-visit 5: FIXED! Finally!

7) While trying to re-open our pool in the spring - the swimming pool pump went out, we were on the waiting list for 3 weeks to get it fixed. In the meantime frogs took up residence in the pool and kept us up nights while they sang their little love songs to each other. (One frisky little frog chased us to the back door one night after we tried to get him to shut-up. It freaked me out a little bit!)

8) Here I am going to count all the other times our pool pump went out...I think 3 times in 5 years - which included 2 brand new pumps.

9) The head was broken off of one of our sprinklers and flooded the backyard.

10) We had a "pool house" bathroom (so that people didn't track water into the house) located next to the pool - and we didn't realize that the toilet was constantly running and not shutting off. It went on like that for an entire month...when we got the water bill it was $450. My husband almost had a heart attack.

So, now begins the adventure in the new house!!

OK GO Treadmill Dance

Happy Friday!

Read Receipt Requested

I hate it when I get those emails with a "Read Receipt Request" - you know that little box that pops up and says that the sender would like to know if you bothered to take the time to read their annoying email. I hate that. Maybe I don't want you to know if I read your email or not...or maybe I didn't read it at all and never knew that you requested a receipt but didn't want you to know I didn't read it. It is such an invasion of privacy! Get out of my world!!! So, FYI...if you send me an email with a read receipt request I will always click - no...no I don't want you to know I did or did not read your email.

Do you like my nails?

I work at a church, and let me tell you - it can be really entertaining at times. We have two little elderly ladies that re-stock the pens and envelopes in the Sanctuary every week. And every week when they are finished they bring us whatever they found lying on the pews. Most of the time it is money or crayons and occasionally it is something more important like glasses or jewelry. So I gladly take them and put them in the lost-and-found or the trash or in with the offering (depending on what it is). But one week I got quite a shock when they brought me fingernail clippings. That's right...I said FINGER-NAIL-CLIPPINGS. Now what possessed them to gather each one of those little nails up and carry them in their sweet little hands all the way to the office is beyond me (or - more importantly - who decides to clip their nails in CHURCH)! But there they were - being held out to me like some sort of offering. This time I just handed them the trash can and tried really hard not to say anything rude.

Guess the sermon really made an impact that Sunday!

Who has the answer key?

I read this blog every single day. I love how this guy throws out these little questions that really get you thinking. Some of them are silly, but some of them are really deep. More than anything, though, I love to read the comments. He has such a wide range of readers that have such a variety of beliefs. I find it fascinating.

But this particular entry has really had me thinking today. Not about why God does or does not do things (I'm just not worried about that - He is in control) but how do I make those around me understand that type of faith. We live in such a cynical world. It often feels to me that people are too lazy to have faith, maybe too independent. They don't want to work to understand the Truth or give up control in order to believe. So how do you effectively share, with a non-believer, how to have that unexplainable faith. That trust that, in all actuality, doesn't always make sense.

This is something I really struggle with from time to time. How do I make them see that God loves them no matter how "happy" he makes them. Why did God allow the girl to be raped? I really don't know. I have a lot of theories - I'm just too lazy to type them all out (there goes that "lazy" thing again). But when all is said and done, I am okay with saying that I don't have all the answers. God doesn't want us to know everything - what would be the fun of heaven if we already knew what it was all about?? Now I just have to figure out how to make others understand.

Life is an adventure!