4 years old.

Dear Carinna,

Today you are 4 years old!

This year hasn't been as exciting, in the world of accomplishments, as other years have been. You have already passed the walking, talking, learning to be sassy milestones. You haven't yet reached the reading and writing milestones. But, we did find out that you will need glasses! Sorry, you got that from me.

You have started to really ride your bike. That has been exciting! You used to only pedal half-heartedly while whining and complaining that it was all too hard! I guess when you finally realized that this just meant you got left behind you decided to make an effort to do it right. Now you're speed racer, zooming up and down the streets in our neighborhood. The only problem now is that you spend more time watching your legs pedal the bike and not enough time watching the road. This has resulted in several run-ins with the curb. It's not pretty.

This year has been just as drama-filled as the past three years were! You have a stubborn streak a mile wide and dad and I try our best to work through it, but I have to admit... it's challenging. There have been moments that dad and I have looked at each other knowing that if someone could bottle up the feelings of frustration, helplessness, exhaustion and weariness that we feel during some of your tirades...it would be THE most effective form of birth control in the universe. You are challenging. Your Grandma and aunts just can't believe that you have this side of you (although I think they really can!). Much of the time you are sweet and cuddly and eager to please. It's really kind of amazing how you can switch from acting one way to being the complete opposite in minutes. You can really be challenging. But we love you just the way you are. I hope that some day in the future this stubbornness will serve you well.

You have the best laugh I have ever heard. It's not your "being silly" laugh or your "goofy 4 year old" laugh. It's the laugh that comes out when you've been taken by complete surprise. It starts in your tiny belly and shoots out of your mouth with such force that you throw your head back and close your eyes. It's infectious. No body can resist laughing with you. It's a wonderful sound.

You are a lover. That sounds kind of strange, but it really sums you up. You are compassionate and caring about those around you. You are sweet to Maggie and talk to her in a voice so high pitched it's almost difficult to understand. You mother your brothers to the point that you make them mad! You have the need to be the nurturer and lover of all living (and many non-living) things in our home. Often times we find that if we can just love you through a stubborn moment or a melt-down, you will recover much faster. Sometimes it is difficult to figure out how that should look, but we're working on it!

Later this year you will begin pre-K at Providence, like your brother did last year. You are really excited about "going to Caden's school!" We are excited too, but finding uniforms to fit your little frame is a tad difficult! I think it will be good for you! You seem to think it makes you so big to be attending there!

You are still tiny. You remain in the 10th percentile for your height and weight, weighing in at 30 lbs (less than your two year old brother). At your 4 year check-up they pricked your finger for an anemia test. Girl, you would have thought they cut your finger off with all the crying and screaming that followed. I mean, seriously. Seriously. But the nurse did say you are a bleeder! You filled up two vials in seconds and the flow was so fast that my hands looked like a crime scene from trying to help the nurse staunch the flow of blood. That may have had a little to do with how freaked out you were! Other than your amazingly frustrating eczema, you checked out happy and healthy...or at least healthy... finger prick.

The world is your musical. You break out in song about most everything you do. Usually during rest time, while you're in your room, you will start singing so loudly that I have to ask you to keep it down. One of these days you will wake up Cooper and I will not be very happy about it! But you will probably just turn it into a song and carry on as though nothing happened. I suppose the world would be a better place if we could all dance around singing about brushing our teeth or cleaning our rooms. Cheesy, but better.

You are a dancing fool. Your current favorite activity is dancing like a ballerina. You spin and leap and close your eyes while making everyone within viewing distance watch and cheer. Over the summer you will be taking a ballet and tumble class. I think you will love it!

You think you're a princess. Or at least that you will be when you grow up. Current career goal: princess. I have struggled with whether or not you should be so into princesses. But I have decided that, for now, you view princesses as the epitome of all things girly and that's ok with me. You aren't hung up on beauty or wealth or the power of princesses. You love the flowing dresses and the jewelry they wear. You have asked several times when you will go to princess school, which is based on the fact that you take classes for anything you want to be/ do. You want to swim...go to swim lessons. You want to dance...take dance lessons. You want to be a princess...go to princess school. It makes me laugh every time. The first time you asked me I was pretty sure my heart would burst because it was the cutest thing ever... and you were dead serious.

You are all girl. You see no point in wearing shorts or pants. What's the point of wearing something that doesn't have the ability to twirl out when you spin around? And the twirlier the better! Dresses and skirts dominate your wardrobe. They make you feel beautiful. I love it! Plus, it's fun to have someone in this house who recognizes when I wear new shoes or a new dress. Someone who loves all my jewelry and always wants to borrow it...especially my wedding ring. I'm thankful to have a girl!

I'm looking forward to all the things you will learn in the next year! As always, I have so many hopes and dreams for your future.

This year, my wish for you is this:
~May you always have a stubborn streak that allows you to stand up for what is right and fight against injustice.
~May you always have a little sass and add a little dramatic flair to your world!
~May you always find so much joy in life that you feel the need to dance and sing every single day!
~May you always show compassion and love to those around you.
~May you always be as girly as you want to be.
~May you always love to twirl.
~May you always know that you are beautiful because God created you to be just the way you are... and He makes all things beautiful.
~May you always know that you are deeply and fiercely loved.

Happiest of birthdays, sweet Carinna Grace!
Love,
Mom