Drinking out of a straw...(written by the boy)

The other day my mom and dad made me go with them to some places. I don't know where we were because I couldn't read, but the places had clothes and shoes and bright lights. I mostly ate my Cheerios and sat in my rolling-seat thing. Most of the day, mom kept trying to cram things on my feet while saying things like "Why don't they make baby shoes as wide as they are long?" and "I guess you will never have shoes for the rest of your life." These things she called shoes, I didn't like them. I spent most of the time pulling them off while she was trying to get them on. I guess I won, because I still don't have any on my feet.

And did I mention that it was a very hot day? Man, my face was red and mom yanked off all my clothes in the parking lot... right in front of everyone. I had to get into the car with nothing but my Pooh diaper. Anyway, we finally got back home after making a stop at some place where they bring food out to your car on little red trays. I didn't get anything, and mom and dad just got cups. Then when we got home I decided I wanted to try what was in those cups, it sure did look good. So mom gave me a drip from her straw. HOLY GUACAMOLE (whatever that means) that was the best thing I have tasted in a while! Maybe ever. It was like my milk... only way better. Dad let me drink out of his cup then, while mom got out that big black thing she always has stuck to her face. She thought I should add these so you could see my new amazing trick:

I think I need to work out some more. Anyway, they seem to think that I am a genius (whatever that is) because I can drink from a straw. I don't know what the big deal is, give me some of that special milk and I will drink from a straw any day. Gotta go, mom says it is time for bed... crap.