Monday, November 20, 2006

The Elderly


Let's just take a moment to talk about our education system...not for children...but for the elderly. In working at the church I have learned several things about how the elderly mind works and I really think that there should be several classes offered at the community center based on the following things:

1. Phone Etiquette 101
Class Description: When calling a business please do not skip to the middle of the conversation because you just assume the other person knows what the holy crap you are talking about!!!!!!! For example: nobody knows who you spoke to on the phone last week, or who "what's his name" is. When you start the conversation with " I just got the thing in the mail and it says that the check is from 2003 and I just want to know where it came from" ...you are really leaving a LOT of things up in the air...and DON'T get pissy when we try to decipher what you are thinking but not saying outloud!!!!

2. Voicemail is Your Friend
Class Description: When calling for a person (whose name you actually know by some miracle) and said person is unavailable, please leave a voicemail. Voicemail does not steal your soul; it is not some form of identity theft; it will not kill you (though the receptionist might if you do not leave one); and people actually DO check it.

3. How to Leave a Message on Voicemail
Class Description: When leaving a message on voicemail, simply state your name, number and a BRIEF description of your question/ concern. You do not have to ask all the questions on your list (that can wait until they call you back).

4. Have Patience
Class Description: When calling a business and asking for someone in particular, please do not blame the receptionist if they are already on the phone. This class is for you if you have had the following conversation:

Receptionist: FBC, how can I help you?

Old Person: I need to talk to ____.

R: She is on the phone right now. Would you like to leave a voicemail?

OP: No, I need to talk to her.

R: Ok, well she is on the phone. You can leave a message or call back later.

OP: NO, I need to talk to her. How much longer will she be on the phone?

R: Well, in order to know that I would have to have telepathic powers...and if I had telepathic powers I could shoot her a mind beam that said you were on the phone in the first place and we wouldn't be having this conversation...but since I wasn't given the power of telepathy...then I DON'T KNOW! Would you like to leave a freakin' voicemail?

(Ok, so just ignore the last part)

5. Driving
Class Description: Do you really need one?

So, let's pick up the slack in our education system...call your local government office and petition better education for our elderly...they aren't our future, but they could be the death of us.

2 comments:

LIFe - Matt said...

i hope you guys have a happy Thanksgiving!!! Maybe you can use the time to get all the curriculum together for these classes. :)

Anonymous said...

Funny!!! And oh-so-very necessary! (Although I think it may be a good time to point out that perhaps you would be better suited to another sort of job??? Maybe one that like didn't involve answering the phone?)