In mid-November Randy and I were shocked to discover that we were going to be having another baby. We had not been trying, or even thinking about getting pregnant at the time. We laughed at the idea that for a short while we would have 3 children under the age of three... and I began to strategize (is that a word?) on just how on earth I would work that out! We were excited. I felt like our family was becoming complete! We started to fret a little about where a new baby would fit in our 3 bedroom house and I decided that as soon as the morning sickness subsided a bit I would start a massive clean-out of all unnecessary junk to either make room, or get our house ready to sell! I went to my first OB appointment and had a sonogram and saw the heartbeat. We even excitedly told our families over Christmas... and greatly enjoyed the shock on their faces!
Last week at my 12 week appointment my doctor was unable to find a heartbeat. She did another sonogram and sadly informed us that the baby was no longer alive. She believed that it had probably passed away sometime around 8 weeks due to the measurements. As though this were not enough, the worst part was that my body was obviously not recognizing the death of the baby. Over the next few days Randy and I were faced with some very tough choices... impossible choices.
Last Saturday we said goodbye to our little surprise baby.
We are sad. I am sad. It is hard to understand things like this, but I know that God has a plan that is greater than anything that my little human brain can possibly understand... and I trust Him. It was a blessing to have that time, no matter how short, to nurture and love that little baby and I am grateful for it.
I don't know what God's future plans for our family are... and I am trying really hard to be okay with that... which is hard for me because I am a planner! We are so grateful for our wonderful family and friends that have showered us with love... and food... over the last few days. We will never forget your kindness and generosity! Thank you for the prayers and words of encouragement and for the space to mourn the loss of our baby in private.
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7 comments:
I am so sorry for your loss, Kara. It is an encouragement to hear your faith in your writing. We love you guys and are praying for you.
thank you for posting this. we are praying.
Praying peace and comfort for your family.
Tragic for all those who know and love you and Randy, but beautifully spoken and explained.The loss is painful to us all but God has the answers and we must hang on to the faith..we will know why this happened someday. We love you!
I am so sorry, my little sister. You are so loved by God and your family. My heart hurts for y'all but God is faithful.
I'm so sorry, Kara. I love you.
sorry for your loss. i will be praying for you and your sweet family.
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