We have this little elderly lady that comes into the church office QUITE A BIT. She LOVES TO TALK quite a bit as well. So, usually when we see her coming - everyone makes a mad dash for the other room.
Now, I know what you're thinking...not very Christ-like...or loving. But, I really feel like Jesus would do the same thing if He were walking the earth. I can just see Him saying "Oh, look...this guy needs to be healed. Now, you just remember where you left off - telling me about your bowel movement - and we can finish this conversation later. Or, better yet, could you just tell God this..just pray to Him...then we don't have to worry about this conversation on bowel movements."
I digress.
So, here is the thing about this lady...other than the incessant talking. I guess that several years ago she had a mastectomy [now, I don't think this is funny - really...I am not heartless after all]. But it seems that a prosthetic booby was not so important to her in her advanced age. So I don't know what she uses - but it is not as...hmmm... heavy...as the real thing.
So, I noticed one day that she was WAY off balance in the booby department. I mean we are talking a good SIX inches difference here...in length! And I thought, oh no, one has gotten away from her and she doesn't even know it. Should I say something about the blatant un-evenness? This has to be embarrassing!
But I thought about it and I decided I didn't want to embarrass her or, heaven forbid, start an un-wanted conversation about elderly boobies - so I left it alone. But now, I have noticed that it is a permanent fixture. They are ALWAYS un-even...really, REALLY un-even.
To use my husband's phrase... it's like a train wreck...I just can't look away...I can't help but notice it. And it just looks so terrible. I mean, the vast expanse of the length of the real one - compared to the fakie - is really shocking.
So, now I just think - surely she knows that they don't match. I mean, you know, one is like Barbie Booby and the other looks...well...like a Maxine booby. So, I have come to the conclusion that she just must not care one bit about the matching booby pair. I guess getting old has its perks...I mean...if you are comfortable enough to walk down the street with one booby standing at attention and the other one taking a nap on your belt...then more power to you!
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5 comments:
Yes!!! Yes!!! Yes!!! TELL ME! Since my boobies will be napping on my belt long before yours will, I expect you to tell me! You are my younger sister-you must keep me abreast of the girls' location(s)!! Sorry about the pun!
But I agree, she really doesn't care. Can you imagine getting dressed and not checking the girls in the mirror? Especially if one is fake? She needs to roll that other one up and stuff it in her bra.
If JRR is reading this, I don't expect YOU to tell me if I have this problem. Your wifey can do that! And I love her too much not to do the same for her. It's a girl thing!
YES!! I would want to know!!
I contemplated before I sat down at the computer just now whether or not I should wash my face first (time for bed!). I mistakingly chose to wash second. Oh, my goodness, I am laughing SOOO hard!! My mascara is smeared completely over both cheeks!!
Please leave me and my "wifey" out of this. On that note, if she ever does have this problem, I will be the one to handle them...it... handle it...the problem.
Poor Dell...
: )
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