Isn't it funny how life just seems to fly by? One moment you are 900 months pregnant and miserable, the next moment you have a ONE year old. One minute you're biggest concern is what you are going to wear to work the next day, then the next you find yourself worried about whether you will raise healthy and successful kids.
Many of my friends have been having "kid" drama lately. The first year of school, the last year of school, potty training, life training. Some of them just want a break, some can't wait for them to grow up and move out, others fear the empty nest.
The other day I was at the grocery store with the boy (a much dreaded task... for both of us). As I was examining cartons of eggs I noticed a little old lady flirting with my boy. I did the usual of making eye contact and smiling... then telling the boy to say hi (which he doesn't really do, I guess it just makes me feel better to say it). Then I casually went back to my egg picking task, but the little old lady didn't walk away... she lingered. So again I made eye contact and again I smiled... and started to pay more attention to the situation. The little old lady stated that my boy was beautiful but that he must not like her because he was not smiling. Not wanting to take the time to explain that he seems to just be more of a people watcher and not a smiler and that he was just studying her and that if she hung around for about 10 minutes he would be hamming it up like a pro... I simply said "oh no, he likes you... he is just very serious." She just smiled.
By this time I had made my egg selection and was starting to move on when she stopped me again. She said, "Maybe he doesn't like my hat." I just smiled and shrugged and continued to head to my next task. Then she continued with "I never had any children. It is times like these that I really regret not doing so. I think I would have really enjoyed them."
I just stopped and smiled at her, not sure what to say. She smiled weakly then continued on with her shopping. And as I thought about our little encounter I started to realize that this must have really been something weighing on this poor woman's heart. Here she was in the middle of the dairy aisle sharing this heartbreaking information with a total stranger. I have wondered since if it was because she was lonely in this late season of her life. I wonder if she has been thinking about what kind of life she has led and what she would do differently.
But I also realized that there are days when I think "Oh Lord, what was I thinking wanting to be a parent?" There are going to be times when I want to throttle this little boy of mine, times when he will defy me, hate me, lie to me... break my heart. But in the end won't it be worth it? I hope so, but I think deep down I know it will. It was a good reminder to enjoy this time... this stage of his life, this moment, this age. It won't be easy to raise him... it is an incredible responsibility... an enormous task... but I think I am up to the challenge... I think.
Thursday, August 28, 2008
Monday, August 25, 2008
Saturday, August 23, 2008
6 Random Things About Me
I was tagged by MommyDani78 at Connect. So... hey, it's something to blog that doesn't necessarily revolve around the boy.
1. I have one eye that is two colors - a fourth-ish brown and the rest blue. People love to point it out to me. They usually say something like this..."OH MY GOSH, did you know that your eye is two different colors?" After years of this I finally responded by screaming "OH MY GOSH, OH MY GOSH... WHAT IS HAPPENING TO ME!!!! OH MY GOSH!!!.....yes, I did know that." Fun times.
2. I still go in the boy's room every single night to make sure he is breathing and to watch him sleep. Half the time I secretly wish that he would wake up so that I could pick him up and hold him for just a little while. I could stand there for hours and just watch him, thank God for him, and pray over him.
3. I love to make up words. I don't know if it is a good thing or not... I am sure it will be a horrid embarrassment to my children if I kept it up forever. Some examples are:
slickery or slippy - mostly meaning slippery
snuggy - meaning something like cuddle or snuggle
crappity crap - meaning...well, you know
I am sure there are others, but you get the idea.
4. I am terrified of spiders. TERRIFIED. REALLY, REALLY TERRIFIED. I hate them. If they are smaller than a plain M&M (legs and all) I can handle them, but any larger and I start to freak out a little. It all stems from some terrible childhood traumas with tarantulas and a nasty run-in with a brown recluse a few years ago. Just a couple of weeks ago I had a screaming fit in my kitchen when I ran across one by the garage door (he was MUCH larger than an M&M). I was really embarrassed by all the screaming, so thank goodness I was alone at the time... I may have even cried a little. Snakes- no problem... lizards - they're so cute... spiders - no.
5. I wish that I had a green thumb. I would love to plant oodles of flowers all around my house and have the most lavish and amazing yard in the neighborhood, but I kill all flowers that I come in contact with. It makes me very sad. Plus, I have terrible seasonal allergies and would probably die if I spent much time outside.
6. I love photos. If I could... or if I thought it wouldn't make me seem crazy... I would wallpaper the wall with photos. When the boy was less than a month old I ordered prints of more than 500 pictures of him. If I were better at it, I would be a professional photographer when I grow up. For Mother's Day I got a new Nikon...and oh, it is a wonderful thing! But I also love to think that someday my grandchildren can look at the photos and be as amazed by them as I am of photos from my grandparents. Maybe they will be just a short glimpse into a life and a time that they know very little about... a legacy of sorts.
So there you go. Interesting? Probably not. Fun for me? Yes.
I am going to tag whoever out there might be interested. I would love to read what you have to say!
1. I have one eye that is two colors - a fourth-ish brown and the rest blue. People love to point it out to me. They usually say something like this..."OH MY GOSH, did you know that your eye is two different colors?" After years of this I finally responded by screaming "OH MY GOSH, OH MY GOSH... WHAT IS HAPPENING TO ME!!!! OH MY GOSH!!!.....yes, I did know that." Fun times.
2. I still go in the boy's room every single night to make sure he is breathing and to watch him sleep. Half the time I secretly wish that he would wake up so that I could pick him up and hold him for just a little while. I could stand there for hours and just watch him, thank God for him, and pray over him.
3. I love to make up words. I don't know if it is a good thing or not... I am sure it will be a horrid embarrassment to my children if I kept it up forever. Some examples are:
slickery or slippy - mostly meaning slippery
snuggy - meaning something like cuddle or snuggle
crappity crap - meaning...well, you know
I am sure there are others, but you get the idea.
4. I am terrified of spiders. TERRIFIED. REALLY, REALLY TERRIFIED. I hate them. If they are smaller than a plain M&M (legs and all) I can handle them, but any larger and I start to freak out a little. It all stems from some terrible childhood traumas with tarantulas and a nasty run-in with a brown recluse a few years ago. Just a couple of weeks ago I had a screaming fit in my kitchen when I ran across one by the garage door (he was MUCH larger than an M&M). I was really embarrassed by all the screaming, so thank goodness I was alone at the time... I may have even cried a little. Snakes- no problem... lizards - they're so cute... spiders - no.
5. I wish that I had a green thumb. I would love to plant oodles of flowers all around my house and have the most lavish and amazing yard in the neighborhood, but I kill all flowers that I come in contact with. It makes me very sad. Plus, I have terrible seasonal allergies and would probably die if I spent much time outside.
6. I love photos. If I could... or if I thought it wouldn't make me seem crazy... I would wallpaper the wall with photos. When the boy was less than a month old I ordered prints of more than 500 pictures of him. If I were better at it, I would be a professional photographer when I grow up. For Mother's Day I got a new Nikon...and oh, it is a wonderful thing! But I also love to think that someday my grandchildren can look at the photos and be as amazed by them as I am of photos from my grandparents. Maybe they will be just a short glimpse into a life and a time that they know very little about... a legacy of sorts.
So there you go. Interesting? Probably not. Fun for me? Yes.
I am going to tag whoever out there might be interested. I would love to read what you have to say!
Sunday, August 17, 2008
Saturday, August 16, 2008
Friday, August 15, 2008
Oh, thank heaven...
I got in my car this morning to go pick the boy up from Mom's Morning Out (woohoo). Earlier this morning I had taken the boy to Mom's Morning Out (woohoo), gone grocery shopping and come home to unload said groceries.
When I got back in my car to pick up the boy I suddenly remembered I had been really low on gas a few days ago and I should probably stop to get some on the way to the church. Then I backed out of my driveway and headed toward my favorite gas station (several miles away). Thankfully, I looked down to see how many "miles to empty" I had only to discover this... "***miles to empty". Oh dear. It must be a bad sign when you have so few miles to empty that they don't even register on the reminder. Then I looked at my gas gauge... it was past the E. Oh crappity crap.
So I quickly changed my course and headed straight to the closest station... the 7 Eleven. It was still several blocks away and so I turned off my AC, took my foot of the gas, leaned in to the steering wheel (it makes the car more aerodynamic, you know) and prayed that I would make it there. Thank goodness there was nobody behind me since I was zooming along at about 20 mph. But I made it... I puttered right up to the pump and breathed a huge sigh of relief (and relaxed my hunched over back).
After getting the gas I looked down at the receipt which read..."Oh Thank Heaven for 7 Eleven"... yeah, you have no idea!
When I got back in my car to pick up the boy I suddenly remembered I had been really low on gas a few days ago and I should probably stop to get some on the way to the church. Then I backed out of my driveway and headed toward my favorite gas station (several miles away). Thankfully, I looked down to see how many "miles to empty" I had only to discover this... "***miles to empty". Oh dear. It must be a bad sign when you have so few miles to empty that they don't even register on the reminder. Then I looked at my gas gauge... it was past the E. Oh crappity crap.
So I quickly changed my course and headed straight to the closest station... the 7 Eleven. It was still several blocks away and so I turned off my AC, took my foot of the gas, leaned in to the steering wheel (it makes the car more aerodynamic, you know) and prayed that I would make it there. Thank goodness there was nobody behind me since I was zooming along at about 20 mph. But I made it... I puttered right up to the pump and breathed a huge sigh of relief (and relaxed my hunched over back).
After getting the gas I looked down at the receipt which read..."Oh Thank Heaven for 7 Eleven"... yeah, you have no idea!
Friday, August 08, 2008
Sunday, August 03, 2008
He WALKS!!!
After working really hard for 2 months now... the boy decided to just take off from the kitchen all the way to his bedroom (which is quite a long way). When he got to his bedroom door he turned to see both of his parents gawking... mouths hanging open in amazement. At which time the boy said "Did you see what I just did there?!? Holy guacamole!!" Then we all laughed and clapped our hands. Well, we think that is what he was trying to say anyway... we just accomplished walking... give him some time to master speech... gaw. But we did all laugh and clap our hands... and by all I mean the boy too.
Saturday, August 02, 2008
I love this age...
We have begun the countdown to the big 1st birthday! The '1' t-shirt has been ordered, the decorations purchased, the gifts picked out... we are just waiting for the day! I am so excited I can hardly concentrate on anything else (which is not very good since we still have a week).
But more than anything else, I have realized that this is my favorite age so far. Each phase has it's own excitement and fun, but 12 months seems to be the perfect age (so far). He still has just enough baby and needs to cuddle, but he also loves to play and wrestle and be tickled and chased and thrown around like a rag doll. He is so expressive, cute and sweet... but more than anything he makes me laugh so hard I cry about 3 times a day!
So, here's to celebrating 12 monthedness...
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